[HEAT&BATHROOM WARNING] Outdoor Coffee Shop With Delightful Crepes and Coffee, But I Went When It Was Hotter Than A Mother Puma Giving Birth, Retrospect Coffee 77004
Is it currently March, September, or any time in between?
Might want to reconsider before you visit.
Review
Hearing great things about this place, I decided to visit Retrospect during what felt like a heat surge in Houston. As I walked up to the store, licked by the sun, my jaw dropped as I soon came to realize the entire gimmick of the coffee shop is that 100% of the seating is outdoor. At that very moment, I felt a deep regret about my prima vista style of visiting coffee shops.
First impression of the design gives a unique picnic vibe. From my experience the visitors are mostly of the younger crowd with a few passerby joggers. Many are there to study, read, or meet up with people. But we were mostly sweating.
There are actually many seating options, covering the front, side, and the back. The front of the store has an awning with fans, the side has a few picnic tables, while the back has a large tent set up with picnic tables under it as well. That being said though, there are only about 6 fans in total.
The outlet availability is about as scarce as the number of fans the shop provides. Then there’s the internet, which was only as stable as my melting mental fortitude at the time.
The highlight of the visit however was the food and coffee. The savory crepe in combination with the cafe de olla was spectacular. It was such a light and delightful crepe paired perfectly with a rich balsamic glaze. I would definitely revisit the store when the temperature drops again for the food and drink to-go.
Coffee Poop
Now to the meat and potatoes. Walking into the bathroom in combination with the blistering heat felt like an isolated indoor restroom you would find by the beach after slapping on a dry shirt on sweaty skin, then swimming into oven baked humid air that was cooked within the walls.
Interestingly though, the classic public park style toilet paper along with the humidity level reminded me of a fond childhood memory about a goldfish catching game I used to play at the night markets in Taiwan. The target of the game is to catch goldfish using a circular paper net that disintegrates back into paper pulp. Imagine a magnifying glass but the center is self destructing paper instead of glass. It was incredibly fun and a must try experience to have if you guys decide to visit Taiwan. Despicable to have found it here being used as toilet paper though.
🔌🔌🔌🔌🔌
Productivity Rating
Internet: As stable as the heat haze coming off of the parking lot gravel.
Outlet Availability: Same ratio as outlets in a bathroom.
Seating: A ton a picnic tables.
Table Space: Literally can have a picnic table to yourself.
Noise: Chatter, traffic, and outdoor noises.
💩💩💩💩💩
Poops Rating
Toilet paper: Disintegrates like cotton candy
Private or Stall: 2 private rooms, but like public bathrooms.
Cleanliness: 🤮
Lock: Turn
Website: https://retrospectcoffeebar.com/
Location: 3709 La Branch St, Houston, TX 77004
